Many of you may have tread this path before but for some, this could be your first foray into the collective madness of a Book Yer Ane Fest Weekend. Having attended all, and come out the other end in varying states of disrepair each time, I’m going to provide you with some hints, tips and tricks to maximise your fun while preserving your body long enough to make it Sunday nights headliners Kaddish and Fat Goth.
Now, some of you may not be taking a drink this weekend, as is your right to choose what does and does not go into your own body. In the case of the teetotaller, you won’t need to adjust your lifestyle a great deal in order to see this out, it’ll be a walk in the park. Plenty good fluids, food and rest will sort you out. The only thing you may be wary of is screaming your throat out to your favourite band, but a cheeky wee lozenge here and there is plenty adequate. The main concern here is those of you who will be booting the arse clean oot it all weekend, you are all old enough to make your own decisions so all I am offering is a simple guide to what has helped, and what has humbled me in the past –
The Classic “Peaked too early” Case
One thing that has broken me more times than not in the past, certainly since we moved to a 2, then a 3 day format, is going too fast too quick on the Friday night. Now this is easier done than you might imagine, usually down to the quality of the line ups and that Friday night is the classic night for touring bands to hit BYAF with a view to moving on to somewhere equally decent on the Saturday. So you may end up having a scenario of, your most anticipated band is playing the Friday night and you want to enjoy it, and you may also very well see them throughout the night enjoying a steady “refreshment” themselves and be more inclined to get in on the act! Before you know it you’ve tanned quite a few and are steadily heading towards the “WFC Bracket”* and you don’t want that tag, as you will keep it ALL weekend. Make sure you at least last long enough to see the bands you want to see, people have been ejected, or fallen asleep pretty early on the Friday before.
Another trapdoor on the Friday night is the fact a club night will start right after the last band has played and the stage is clear. You may find yourself making the executive decision to hit the hay to prepare for Saturday and as you say your goodbyes -boom, your jam comes on! Taps are aff and shit is lost. Before you know it your back at the bar buying shots for ABDY and the rest is a blur. The rest of you’re weekend you will be a shadow of your true self and so will your bank account. If you’re staying out and determined to party all night of every night then mix it up, take on plenty water especially toward the end of the night, simple advice but until I started actually doing it I didn’t see how much good it does!
If you are sensible, or just lucky, then you’ll wake up raring to go on the Saturday. The day starts a lot earlier on Saturday and Sunday so pacing yourself is key to making the most of the full days. 12+ Hours solid drinking is never going to be advised, but I’m not gonna kid on and say that it won’t happen, some of you will hop on this crazy train and to you I say good luck. Basic advice is the same, take on water throughout the day, a killer headache at a music festival is bad times. Make sure you eat throughout the day. Unfortunately there is no scheduled break in action during the Sat or Sun so you’ll need to check line ups and pop out when something you care less about it is happening. If you see food/meals being prepared in the club it will be to cater for the travelling bands so please don’t tan a plate and fire in. A lot of prep goes into making sure bands are fed and watered upon arrival, you guys need to fend for yourself I’m afraid!
Short walking distance from Kage you will find standard kebab/pizza shops, also Chopstix round the corner for tasty Chinese food and further afield at the foot of the Perth Rd (opposite Groucho’s), a 10 min walk, you will find Dr Noodles where a pretty healthy pot of noodles/veg + meat or tofu is pretty cheap and damn good. If your stuck for options or dietary needs grab one of us or anyone local, but make sure you get some nutrition into your wretched vessel, it will thank you later.
Worst Case Scenario
You’ve woke up on one of the days with a mouth tasting like you’ve been licking a pub carpet, a stomach doing somersaults, a head feeling like its split open and your liver sitting next to you drinking a black coffee calling you an arsehole. Nae good. Old pal water first, get it right doon ye, good couple pints. Then, if you have one, a Resolve or equivalent type of effervescent sachet designed to ease head, settle stomach and hydrate body. Those things are TECKLE. You’ll have to eat something, even if it means spewing it up again, at least it’s been in you. Take a good fresh air walk, then decide whether a hair o the dog will do you good or bad. After that, the days destiny is in your hands.
Ear plugs are always available for free at the club to protect fragile ears, but are recommended for all to use. It should be quite easy to get yourself to a nice stage of cheeriness each day without overdoing it so you still have enough energy to get up and on with it for the whole weekend. That said, I’m the king of saying that and doing the complete opposite, it happens, we’ve all been there, I just hope it doesn’t ruin anyone’s weekend! You’ve paid you’re money, make sure you see everything you wanna see this weekend!
Now, punishing your body with poor drinking decisions aside, couple of major points to be made. Make sure you have fun, make sure you make some new pals and watch some new bands, RESPECT the place you are in and the people around you, especially those working hard to provide you with a good time, make sure you have fun, tip your bar staff if you can afford to; those guys and girls are pulling major shifts over the weekend to keep you lubricated, and make sure you have fun! Good luck to all seasoned vets and first timers alike!
Have a great Fest!
Written by Barry “The” Kydd, MTAT Roaster / Lachance chanter.